Q. My boyfriend and I are getting engaged soon, and have started shopping for rings. Last night his mother offered her diamond ring to us. She and I get along great, but I kind of had something a bit different in mind. How can I turn down her offer without ruining our relationship or upsetting my boyfriend?
A. Remember that saying, “it’s the thought that counts?” well this future mother-in-law of yours has one thought, and that is to control your life, (and probably to continue to control her son’ life, which she undoubtedly does at present). By the way, does he still live at home? Either way, it sounds like you two are having Sunday dinner over there every week for the rest of your life. Mmmm… pass the potatoes and the awkward tension.
In dissecting your query I find that there’re a couple of things going on here. Number one, her intrusion: unless this sucker is 2 carats or bigger, then there’s no need for her to be interfering. Also, if this is something they have been discussing for decades, then why didn’t Dreamboy bring it up to you sooner… and, oh, I don’t know, possibly allow the two of you to come to a decision privately before involving the den master.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s lovely that she offered the ring. Maybe it has some familial importance? Passed down like a treasure through the generations of hardworking and loving women on his family tree.
But seriously, heirloom rings never look like this “antique setting.” If they did, people wouldn’t be giving them away.
Old people’s rings are today’s side stones and should be treated as such. Good luck!
You know that shit is pear shaped in a gold setting. I would apologize to any readers with such a ring. But I feel like I can’t be the first person they have com across to make such a comment.
If your future mother-in-law seems to be forcing the ring on you then there may be no way to politely decline her offer without creating some tension. you say that you get along great so I don’t think this will be the case. I’d suggest simply telling her that you appreciate her offer but you have a dream ring in mind and leave it at that. As long as you don’t make her think that the ring ‘isn’t good enough’ for you then hopefully she will understand and respect your decision.
The answer that was already given to you appears to be lacking an actual answer to your question. It sounds like somebody must have gotten a raw deal in their marriage (and mother-in-law.) If these are the types of ‘experts’ that are responding to questions on this site then I would suggest finding another for any further wedding/engagement questions that you may have. I know I will.
Sounds to me like someone is single
I wear my mother in laws diamond, that was her mothers and her grandmothers before… I’m the forth in a long line to wear it, and I couldnt be more honored. Really think about the situation before declining on the offer. My husband and I had the dimaond reset into a modern setting and it looks fabulous. I always dreamed of a princess cut, but this stone is round… and I couldnt be happier. Sometimes the ring should mean something to your husband too! Let’s face it girls, dreams change, and so do tastes… so rather than choosing something on your own that you might regret later, think about how you can incorproate the diamond into your dream ring after all. Congrats on your engagement!