1) You might not be a huge fat-ass now, but something about your style tells us that you were not too long ago (could also be all that awkward extra material). But good for you for using your engagement as a weight-loss incentive! As we all know, the only thing worse than a terrible wedding dress is a fat person in a terrible wedding dress.
Extra points for the innovative pose: the front of the dress must be a real site if this was your best angle.
2) To all of your politically correct guests who may have mistaken your wedding theme as “wintery”… Having Saint Nick pull your Cinderella cake really lets them know, I HEART FUCKING CHRISTMAS AND I DONT CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
3) We’re fairly certain this is not what baby Jesus had in mind. Nothing says romance and matrimony like a children’s Christmas pageant! Did your church agree to a reduced rate by allowing your wedding to occur during their Christmas Eve service? Wedding party exit stage left, enter Mary & Joseph with live donkey.
4) We can’t tell if this bitch is about to suck our blood or fist pump her way around the VFW while singing along to Men at Work. But either way, red feathers will be flying within hours of this photo when 25 unhappily single women fight over that god-awful bouquet.
5) Nice vase, asshole. Holiday or no holiday, this is the world’s shittiest centerpiece. Trust us, your guests would not have noticed if you skipped the randomly scattered pinecones.
6) Please tell us these were used as Thank-you cards.
Love your post!
Hi, interesting blog. Will subscribe and follow your posts. Thanks
i havent laughed so much in ages
Lol genius
Will you marry me? lol