Congratulations! In spite of yourself, you’ve somehow managed to get this far: he actually proposed!
But if you’ve come to this site to have your ego stroked or receive praise about unique reception ideas (think Midsummer Night’s Dream) that showcase you and your future hubby’s “personality,” then you’ve come to the wrong place. All brides are not beautiful, delicate goddesses and don’t kid yourselves, your guests could care less about the etched champagne flutes; hell, they could probably care less about the two of you.
Forget etiquette and get real. We’re here to support the relentless and unapologetic bride in all of us, the one that strives for perfection. And yes perfection does mean toned triceps on all those whores you call bridesmaids. We’re here to help ensure that everyone involved in your special day gets your not-so-subtle hints about dieting and teeth whitening, without tarnishing your outer facade of grace and elegance.
Now step aside and let us do our job. And don’t forget to smile, bitches, all this shit is being photodocumented.*
*If you are too stupid or politically correct to understand that this is not intended as real wedding advice, you need read no further.
