Posts Tagged ‘engagement’
Dear BWMB,
I feel shallow even thinking this, but I need to vent. My engagement ring isn’t a diamond; it’s not even a cubic zirconia! I hate feeling like it’s not good enough, and I’m trying to pretend it’s exactly what I’ve always wanted, but I’m embarrassed. Like every other girl, I’ve always dreamed of a diamond! What should I do?
Dear Rightfully Embarrassed,
How did you let this happen? And what do you mean it’s not even a CZ? Well, you’re obviously pregnant. Let me guess, the two of you have been living at your mom’s house for the past 6 months, which is just about as long as you’ve known one another…you’re right to be embarrassed. At least you can recognize that the ring is shitty. Step 2: realizing that your fiancée is shitty, too.
Don’t listen to anyone who says that they like it because it’s different, because that’s the exact same reason why everyone else hates it.
Now, you may think it’s sweet that he’s doing the admirable thing and making it legit, but let’s get real. You’d rather have a bastard child than sport that friggin’ birthstone engagement ring. Our recommendation: every time you show the ring to a friend, refer to it as a “promise ring.” Regardless of how lame that is, a non-diamond engagement ring is even worse. Soon enough, he’ll get the idea and upgrade. It doesn’t have to happen tomorrow; he’s obviously not quick enough to realize the urgency. That’s okay, the longer you wait, the better the ring (fingers crossed). Start a special savings account. Encourage him to save a set amount each paycheck for the upgrade or for a “real vacation” for after the baby’s born. With his part-time liquor store job, he should have enough for the ring by the kid’s 5th birthday.
Peri-don’t
Q. My boyfriend and I are getting engaged soon, and have started shopping for rings. Last night his mother offered her diamond ring to us. She and I get along great, but I kind of had something a bit different in mind. How can I turn down her offer without ruining our relationship or upsetting my boyfriend?
A. Remember that saying, “it’s the thought that counts?” well this future mother-in-law of yours has one thought, and that is to control your life, (and probably to continue to control her son’ life, which she undoubtedly does at present). By the way, does he still live at home? Either way, it sounds like you two are having Sunday dinner over there every week for the rest of your life. Mmmm… pass the potatoes and the awkward tension.
In dissecting your query I find that there’re a couple of things going on here. Number one, her intrusion: unless this sucker is 2 carats or bigger, then there’s no need for her to be interfering. Also, if this is something they have been discussing for decades, then why didn’t Dreamboy bring it up to you sooner… and, oh, I don’t know, possibly allow the two of you to come to a decision privately before involving the den master.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s lovely that she offered the ring. Maybe it has some familial importance? Passed down like a treasure through the generations of hardworking and loving women on his family tree.
But seriously, heirloom rings never look like this “antique setting.” If they did, people wouldn’t be giving them away.
Old people’s rings are today’s side stones and should be treated as such. Good luck!
Dos and Don’ts for Your Wedding Announcement
(aka the inflated, picturesque version of your blissful courtship intended for the cheerleading squad of your high school…and the valedictorian)
- Do be picture perfect. I don’t care if it takes 30 rolls of film and an airbrushing army. Remember high school? Yeah, you weren’t that great. But look at you now! You’re getting married, and nothing looks better in a picture than a bitter woman secretly rubbing her happiness in the face of her graduating class, even if that was 20 years ago.
- Do include, with nauseating detail, the events of your engagement. Were you vacationing in Paris, Naples, Spain? If this was not a destination engagement, feel free to improvise. People want a story; give it to them.
- Do inflate job titles. I’m talking throw in an Executive here and there, not a President, less someone see you driving around in your Hyundai and connect the dots.
- Do use your thesaurus. Townies scour these announcements searching for a good one to shock ex-classmates with. Don’t blend in with the same old. Be articulate, but don’t oversell it. You’re happy, not elated. Be careful not to border on desperate.
- Do remember your audience. Most likely this is going in the local paper, meaning the town you grew up in. Chances are, this announcement will circulate thanks to nosy mothers, jealous ex-friends, etc. to almost every person you went to high school with. You are not above sneaking in a slight or two, just be tactful.
- Do be mindful of timing. Your worries are over, you’ve actually found someone to marry you! Don’t get so caught up in the excitement of rubbing this in that you rush getting the announcement in the paper. Not getting married for a few years? No one needs to know that you’re too poor to have the wedding of your dreams now. Show some restraint: we recommend a gleeful announcement 6 months to a year out.
- Don’t overstate future goals. If you truly have no intention of studying under the Dalai Lama, I wouldn’t go there. Save yourself the embarrassment of running into some bubbly, pregnant blonde from 11th grade homeroom who happened to see your announcement and asks how your time in India was. A bride-to-be stumbling for words is never an attractive bride.
