Posts Tagged ‘fiance’
Q. My boyfriend and I are getting engaged soon, and have started shopping for rings. Last night his mother offered her diamond ring to us. She and I get along great, but I kind of had something a bit different in mind. How can I turn down her offer without ruining our relationship or upsetting my boyfriend?
A. Remember that saying, “it’s the thought that counts?” well this future mother-in-law of yours has one thought, and that is to control your life, (and probably to continue to control her son’ life, which she undoubtedly does at present). By the way, does he still live at home? Either way, it sounds like you two are having Sunday dinner over there every week for the rest of your life. Mmmm… pass the potatoes and the awkward tension.
In dissecting your query I find that there’re a couple of things going on here. Number one, her intrusion: unless this sucker is 2 carats or bigger, then there’s no need for her to be interfering. Also, if this is something they have been discussing for decades, then why didn’t Dreamboy bring it up to you sooner… and, oh, I don’t know, possibly allow the two of you to come to a decision privately before involving the den master.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s lovely that she offered the ring. Maybe it has some familial importance? Passed down like a treasure through the generations of hardworking and loving women on his family tree.
But seriously, heirloom rings never look like this “antique setting.” If they did, people wouldn’t be giving them away.
Old people’s rings are today’s side stones and should be treated as such. Good luck!
Q. My fiancé asked me to have a female friend of his be one of my bridesmaids. I don’t know her very well but it doesn’t bother me because she seems nice. Who should ask her? I would feel weird calling her out of the blue since we’ve only met a handful of times.
A. There are so many things wrong with this question!
1) If you are too uncomfortable to even speak to this girl on the phone, then she has no business being one of your ‘maids.
2) Bridesmaids are friends of the bride: emphasis on of the bride.* Not only shouldn’t the groom even have close female friends at this point, but he definitely shouldn’t be asking for them to be part of the wedding; these are YOUR attendants! If he is this close to another woman, you haven’t done a good job as a girlfriend. Let’s hope you do better as a wife.
3) While nixing the little arrangement your darling has dreamed up may make you look like a controlling and psychotic bitch, the alternative is to pretend to be “the cool girlfriend.” This behavior puts women back about fifty years. Pretending to approve of the female friends of your fiancé makes a girl look weak and silly, and you aren’t fooling anyone. Everyone knows you’re seething inside and that’s lame.
4) If she is attractive, you may want to disinvite her altogether, as they most likely “had a thing” going on before you met him. If she’s ugly or large, continue to hate her secretly, but don’t allow yourself to seem jealous. If she’s fat and you’re jealous, it makes you seem insecure!
5) Whose idea was this—your husband-to-be or the ballsy cow? Either way it’s an outrage and shouldn’t be tolerated. My advice is to make it clear to your fiancé that he must chose between his friendship with this meaningless piece of trash and you, his beloved. When you pose this to him, make sure you look your very best. Sex strikes work well too.
(*Similarly, if the groom has a spinster sister, it is up to the discretion of the bride whether she is included or not. If there is more than one obese or unattached soon-to-be sister-in-law, the bride is off the hook as far as having them be bridesmaids: one unappealing sister is a kind gesture of the coming together of families, two or more is ruining the wedding photos and having the guests think you only have fat friends.)
I’m sure this little setback is no indication of how your marriage will turn out (fingers crossed)!
