Posts Tagged ‘holiday’
Effing Terrible
Holding your wedding day on the most romantic day of the year sounds like a wonderful idea. Afterall, love is in the air, right? WRONG.
The absolute height of selfish tackiness is to get married on Valentine’s Day and then have every detail be…wait for it…lemme guess… PINK AND RED!!
Listen, we are not trying to encourage you to worry too much about the needs and feelings of your friends and family. We aren’t trying to argue that you should leave holidays alone so that people can celebrate these special occasions in their own personal ways.
However, getting married on a day that is supposed to be romantic for everyone, and not just you and your man, isn’t a good idea for a lot of reasons. 1) Pink and red look like shit together. Don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise. 2) Cupid is a fat creep with his arrow. He has absolutely no business being naked, specifically not at your wedding. 3) Everyone feels amorous and sexy on this day. Don’t let the love spread around the room and cloud everyone’s understanding about what your wedding day is about. And 4) a lot of people have “valentines.” Even middle-aged and old people have significant others and stories of good times they’ve shared on this day. Eff that! Getting married on this day will kick their selfish memories into high gear. They’ll pack the dance floor and want to feed each other cake. Is that really what you want? No, I didn’t think so.
Some Tasteful Valentine’s Wedding Cakes
I like this one because it’s so understated and elegant.
I hate you. Also, does that say “the veil”???
I love it when I think something is a stack of shiny Valentine’s presents and it turns out to be a fucking cake. That’s my favorite.
In the spirit of the holiday, BridesWhoMeanBusiness would like to give thanks for the following:
• couples who incorporate their pets into their weddings and assign them tasks that would otherwise be performed by actual people
• awkward, choreographed dances to Edwin McCain’s “I’ll Be”
• brides who change into chunky white flip-flops or better yet, no shoes at all
• large groups of 40-year-old women performing the electric slide
• jealous, single bridesmaids wanting to be “paired” with handsome groomsman, as if the act of walking into the reception together means something
• brides with baby bumps wearing white
• tiny, plastic, silver picture frames that double as a place-card holder and a favor
• blood relatives that still dive to catch the garter even though they know it involves going up your dress
• the results of an open bar
• brides who one-up the traditional spa day with the emerging trend of Botox and laser-treatment parties
• guests who mistake your wedding for a singles mixer
• tiaras
Have a great Thanksgiving with your friends and family! But keep in mind that gorgeous, strapless Amsale hanging in your closet when you’re reaching for the pumpkin pie!
